No, it isn’t carbs. It’s the other C-word.
Comparison a.k.a Joy Thief.
The nasty habit you must quit to reach your goals this year.
It’s difficult to avoid comparison today. Even when you keep your head down and focus, it seems just a few minutes of social media is enough to catch a serious case of lifestyle envy.
Over conversations with friends, family and clients, I’ve realized the strong hold comparison has on us, filling us with lack and keeping us stuck in our tracks.
In fact, if we made it our mission to gather all the minutes we waste comparing ourselves and spend them in the kitchen instead, we might be on track to making the world a healthier and happier place.
3 reasons to call it quits with comparison
1. It’s paralyzing
Comparison is like quick sand: stand in it too long and you get stuck. Marie Forleo brilliantly calls this the “Comparison Hangover” .
This paralysis is precisely how comparison keeps you from reaching your goals: it leaves you stuck in reaction mode and out of action mode.
At yoga class for example, it’s easy to compare yourself to the yogi beside you. But every time you do, you’re drawing attention away from your mat, shallowing your breath, losing the depth of your pose and regressing in your practice. Focus on you.
In life, business and wellness, it’s easy to compare yourself to those who are further along. The friend with the house and kids, the colleague with the big promotion or the family member with the body transformation. Don’t. Focus on your path.
Every moment you spend comparing yourself to others, you rob yourself of progress.
Don’t get stuck. Focus on your path and keep moving forward.
2. It’s an illusion
Don’t compare your body. No, you never will look like them. Because you were never meant to. You’re enough. Strong enough, smart enough, willing enough. It may not be easy, but acknowledging this fact sooner than later can be transformative.
Don’t compare your eating habits. Stumped by the friend who looks fabulous yet doesn’t exercise and lives off fast-food? Consider this:
a) They’re not being honest. They eat relatively well but want their appearance to seem effortless. It happens. Sort of like the classmate who would tell you they didn’t study but secretly did and aced the test.
b) They represent a rare breed of human. Like that person who never came to class and still aced the test. It also happens, but it’s rare. But in this case, remember that physical appearance says nothing about inner health.
When you compare yourself to others, remember that you’re an outsider looking in and that things are often different behind the scenes.
Don’t get distracted. Focus on keeping yourself center stage of your life, not someone else.
3. It keeps you unfulfilled
Lack, wanting more, needing more: all comparison side effects.
Ironically though, the ones you compare yourself to are likely comparing themselves, too.
Make the conscious decision to quit comparison, or run the risk of feeling unfulfilled even once you’ve reached your goals.
Don’t lose gratitude. Focus on how far you’ve come and what you’ve gained in the process. Not the other way around.
The solution?
Replace comparison to others with compassion for yourself.
Only you know what you need to endure every day.
So the next time you catch yourself comparing your path to someone else’s, show yourself some love instead.
Acknowledge your reality, how far you’ve come and keep on going.
….Or maybe you can do as I said earlier and make up for it in the kitchen instead.
Have you gotten stuck in comparison? How do you stop it from interfering with your goals? Please share below!
Lovely and much needed perspective 🙂
Thx Alex! Cheers to 2014!
Yup! I’ve been stuck! How do I get out?! A good support system, on days that I can’t motivate myself I turn to a positive person in my life! Sometimes other people see your progress more positively than you can!
😉 tx vanessa!!
I have overflowing faith in you 🙂
This is just what I needed to hear! As a diatetics student, it’s easy for me to compare my eating, studying, and fitness habits to my classmates. I realize that this is a waste of energy. Thanks for the encouragement 🙂
Ah yes, the school days. That high-performing environment can make comparison come easy. Just commit to your work and focus on your own progress 🙂
Your style is really unique in comparison to other folks
I have read stuff from. I appreciate you for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I’ll just book mark this page.
I like how you stepped out of the norm by offering a realistic and most related topic with vital value in our well being. Comparison is your worst enemy. Growing up as the youngest in our household I was always compared to my sister. She excelled in academics and always won awards and recognition at school whereas for me, I seemed to be from a different bloodline as they used to say. It was hard growing up around endless comparison on whose better and why can’t I be better. It had its toll on me growing up, I was so shy and had no self-esteem. Then I my life changed for the better. It turns out I just needed a breath of fresh air and time to explore things on my own and become the person who I want to be not on their terms but on mine. We just got to remember: we only have one life to live, you must choose to live it or they’ll do.
Comparison can be tricky, but you did the hardest part…yanked yourself out of it. Good on you for taking charge!